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04/06/2005: "The Silver Hammer - or Steve Was Right."

I was at a bar on Sunday, although I guess I should have been at church, and a friend of mine told me that there was a ritual to determine if the Pope was actually dead. He said a special someone had to yell in the Pope's ear three times his Christian name (Pope John Paul was actually born with a different name and they change it when he gets his funny hat) and then strikes him on the forehead with a special silver hammer.

Knowing that this was kinda funny in a Looney Toons way and knowing from my extensive CCD training that it was probably true, I tracked down the straight skinny from the people at the top.

Without further adieu, I bring you what to do when your pope looks dead

*I am not jesting about the death of John Paul II. I realize his importantance and influence within and outside of the Church, but after being in the Catholic Church for nearly a few decades, you have to admit there are some interesting procedures.